Manage Pressure Before Pressure Manages You..Part 1

I read recently about a lecturer who held a glass of watewr in his hand and asked: “How heavy is this glass of water?”

Anwsers from the audience ranged from 20g to 50 g.

The lecturer replied: The absolute weight doesn’t matter.

It depends on how long you try to hold it.

If you hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem.

If you hold it for an hour, you’ll have an ache in your arm

If you hold it for a day , you’ll have to call for an ambulence.

In each case , it’s the same weight, but the longer you hold it, the heavier it becomes!

That’s how it works with the forces that cause stress in our lives.

Of course,  stress in general is a very natural part of life.  But too much for too long a period  causes distress. Try to keep on sweeping the ever mounting turmoil you are feeling inside under the carpet and that spells trouble.  According to the Mayo Clinic, when the pressure you are experiencing  exceeds your ability to handle them, your body reacts. There is a break down in bodily immunity against diseases of all kinds.How often do you hear of a person coming down with cancer following a painful divorce or a death in the family or a lost job? Life out there is filled with potholes, boulders and  dead ends..How do I survive   and remain whole and healthy?   There are 3 tools we can use to mange stress before stress manages us.

They are: AFFIRMATION, VISUALIZATION  and MEDITATION.

I will tell you  how to use them in my next Blog

DEFINE YOUR FEELINGS

Things are tough out there and no one wants to lose his job.  Let me tell you what happened to a young man who came to me with a serious dilemma.

“Rabbi, you officiated at my marriage several years ago.  You promised me that I COULD ALWAYS COME TO YOU IF WE HAVE A PROBLEM.”

I am close to being fired. My supervisor is out to get me.  He keeps on complaining about me to my boss who looks at me strangely. I feel sick all the time. I have palpitations. My legs feel like rubber.  I suffer from terrible migraines and then there are those night sweats. My whole world is collapsing before me. Now let me tell you what happened y yesterday when came home from work. My head was pounding. As soon as I walked in the door I shouted at my wife who was in the kitchen preparing dinner (she just came home from work herself): ‘What’s for dinner.’ She replied Hamburger. I exploded. ‘is that all your xxxxx mother showed you how to make.’ My wife came storming out of the kitchen. ‘Drop dead!!’ I answered: ‘where do you want me to drop dead…here or there by the toilet’ I stormed out of the apartment.  Now I feel awful for my behavior. She didn’t deserve my behavior.

HOW TO PREVENT THIS FROM HAPPENING? THE ANSWER IS SIMPLE. LEARN TO DEFINE YOUR FEELINGS

There is no such thing as correct or proper feeling. How you feel is reality and should not be judged as right or wrong. If the young man had come home headache and all, kissed his wife…and then described all of his symptoms, she would have understood that he was hurting. At that point when he exploded she would have understood that neither she nor her mother were targets. It would have simple for her to help ease his pain and the altercation would have been avoided.

Next blog:  What to do when there is no talking…just silence between lovers who had a fight?